I love the emotion here,and the sense of impending action.I like your loose style of drawing as well, but...i didn't quite know what Roah was doing, until i stared intensely. It confused me for quite a bit.I've been following your story, and I think it's really awesome, but I don't understand why Roah has a gun,or why she's suddenly in dusk's arms...I see the action lines that denote she's flying to him,after a second of hardcore "what the hell...OH WAIT OKAY! That makes sense!"
It took me a bit to understand that that was what the lines were, due to the awesome!sketchiness of the whole page.
And Dusk...i have to say i'm a fan of the big gentle cat-dude( ), but i got lost as to why he materialized from nowhere,and then what happened between roah's shooting stance to pouncing on him.
I love the ideas you were trying to portray, and the scene definitely has no need for words. But, to offer some consructive criticism, I would look into makes the actions a little clearer, like maybe denoting Roah's glance behind, and when she whipped out the gun. Her expression was a bit static too, but then, this is only a practice page and not even canon so that isn't much of a problem. I understood everything, but i had to withdraw from the story and think about it to totally grip whats going on, and I'm sure that wasn't intended.
You are a gifted comicker, and i think the sketchy style will prove to be a great thing for your story. Not many people think about using a rough look, even of most people enjoy getting a glimpse into the artist themselves through their skteches.No one sketches the same, but many comics look exactly like others once the individual's thought process is cleaned up.You stand out by questioning that standard.And the points i've made are my only beef with it.

Keep up the great work, i look forward to seeing more Dusk and Roah!


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" Oh gawd I saw air quotations, what's up?"
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" Don't make me go all squishy panda on you."

Hey man, wow, thank you! this was really helpful! As for getting what's going on, I can see that being difficult. It's later in the story, muuuch later. Roah eventually does cary a side arm because after enough instances of people trying to kill her she decides it's a wise idea LOL. This scene, never the less, isn't entirely cannon, but the idea I have was that she is going to vistit a couple of graves to people she knew that died in the conflict that comes into play in my story. She senses something behind her, draws the gun, we see it's Dusk, come to grieve by her side, and she runs to him. I think showing an establishing shot somewhere that showed both of them and where they were standing in proximity to one another would have helped. I also think seeing a panel where she drops the gun and reacts to seeing him before running to him would have been good.

I wanted to put those in but that would have made it spill over into another page. I mean, this was alot of story to try to jam pack into a single page LOL It needed to be that way though because I needed to portray character's emotions and what to really test this style.

Still, Thank you man! Thank you for the crit and also the kind complements! I really do appreciate it XD

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"Pudge controls the weather."--lilo

You're very welcome! I'm glad you found my comments useful.

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" Oh gawd I saw air quotations, what's up?"
_
" Don't make me go all squishy panda on you."

I like the fact there are no words on this , rather just the images. Especially with the music I had playing in the background. It was like a music video for me and I like it that way, haha! But I love the simplicity of it all. (I like that word far too much lately)

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"I'm going to make out in the coat room, don't eat my chicken."
"That's going on your tombstone."